Here's what I've learned...(caution: word vomit)

I'm now beginning week 3 of summer, and it is glorious.  However, in its gloriousness, I'm learning some hard truths about myself:

• I don't begin things well.  I love doing things once I've started (cooking, cleaning, whatevs), but I really struggle starting them.  Not sure how to remedy this.
• My motivation to do much of anything is very low.  Could it be because for 10 months, I had to be motivated to complete all kinds of tasks and now my motivation tank is obliterated?
• I'm an English teacher, but I don't read as much as I should.  Oh yikes, that is no fun to put out there.  I don't read as much as I should because I don't like starting books.  If I could start every book in chapter 3, life would be better.
• I don't deal well with boredom...because I don't know how to fill my time...because I can't start something new.
• I'm just sleepy.  Perhaps I'm sleepy because of going so hard for so long, and perhaps it's not a bad thing to spend some time sleeping.  
• I'm too hard on myself.  Should I let myself chill out for awhile instead of beating myself up that I'm not doing much?

So there's that.  I'm spending lots of time sorting through who I am and why I am the way I am and what I need to change.  Sometimes such work is enjoyable while other times it's downright exhausting.

And then here's the funny of the day:  this morning, after I finished reading a portion of the greatest book in the world, I set it down only to read this on the cover - "So here's what I want you to do, God helping you:  Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering.  Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him."  Romans 12:1 (The Message)

So I've been given a gift - 10 weeks off during the summer.  And it's been pretty ordinary.  Yes, there have been extraordinary days - like when I get to see my beautiful friends, spend extra time with my wonderful hubs or family, or excessively productive days.  BUT there have also been parts of days that are just ho-hum.  That I spend lots of time on the couch pondering who I am.  And those moments are just ordinary.  Perhaps I've been wasting away those moments.  Or perhaps I've been doing what I should be doing - just being.  Either way, here's what I'm going to do - place even the most ordinary of moments before the Lord as an offering.  My time here on this silly little planet is meant to be purposeful, so even in the sitting-on-the-couch-waiting-for-5:45-when-the-hubs-returns-from-work moments, I will cherish my quiet time, love the fact that I have a hubs to wait for, and breathe out myself and breathe in the One who gives me breath. 

Consider the bits of sadness, loneliness, and selfishness that have been apparent this June to be no more.  I'm taking "on an entirely new way of life--a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into [my] conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in [me]" (Ephesians 4:22-24).

Let's do this.