Grieving

My heart is grieving this week.  On Tuesday, my principal called to inform me of some "bad news."  A student of mine was killed in a car accident on Monday night.

I've only taught her for about 6 weeks (I didn't have her last semester and she was at a different school for the first part of this semester), but my heart still grieves.

Naturally, I think of my last interaction with her.  Was it positive enough?

On Thursday and Friday of last week, my kiddos were a little insane, but I told myself not to make it a big deal because their insanity was likely due to spring break being just around the corner.  So I didn't make it a big deal.  The girl who was killed was really pushing my buttons on those days.  I wrestled with what to do because I knew any kind of discipline would not be helpful due to the impending break.  So I pushed her, but not too much.

The first question that came to mind when I heard the news was, did she know Jesus?  I grieve if she didn't and I rejoice if she did.  I grieve with her family.  I'm not even a parent, and I can't imagine being told my 15-year-old has been killed. I grieve with her friends.  Teenagers are so wonderful, but sometimes in their wonderfulness, they forget that they are not invincible.  And I grieve with my 7th hour.  It's a small class (25 students...my smallest class of sophomores), and I know her presence will be missed.

So now the question is, what do I say to a group of confused, grieving, and aching teenagers?  Oh to have the freedom to tell them about Jesus.

My prayer now is that the Lord will provide the words to say what needs to be said, the eyes to see what needs must be addressed, and the ears to hear my sweet students' thoughts.

When life is confusing and I don't understand why certain things happen, I must remind myself:  God is good, and He only does good.