Friday Funnies: Year 3

Friends.  I only have a few school-related funnies, but let's go ahead and get started.

1:
Let me set up the scenario.  Two days ago, I wore skinny black pants to school.  It's important to know that I wear these at least once week and I've had them since last fall.  They're dang comfortable and they're black, so they go with everything.  I've never, in my dozens and dozens of times of wearing them, had a student make a comment in regards to their style/fit.  I suppose there's a first thing for everything.  What follows is the dialogue between a female student and I:
Female Student:  Mrs. Carlson, are those skinny jeans?
MC:  Yes.
FS:  I bet you feel like you're in high school again when you wear those.
MC:  Well, skinny jeans weren't around when I was in high school.
FS:  It's only a matter of time before you're walking in the hall and a boy comes up behind you and is all, "Hey girl, how you doin?"
MC:  Thankfully that hasn't happened yet.
End of conversation.

2:
I walked into school this morning at approximately 6:50 am (I'm a morning person, just let me be).  And what should my wandering eyes see?
A hostile mob of parents?  No.
The marching band?  No.
A stray cat?  No. 
A million construction workers?  Yes, but that's not the point.
A suspicious bookbag?  No.
A snake?  Yes.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

People, I do not lie to you.  One of satan's own was on the freshly scrubbed tile.  Thankfully a student was only a few feet ahead of me.  I literally froze in my tracks when I saw it.  Enter dialogue:
MC:  Is that a snake?
Male Student:  Yes.
MC:  Are you afraid of snakes?
MS:  No.
MC:  Will you please remove it from the premises?
MS:  Yes.

I stuck around long enough to see said male student pick up said spawn of satan.  Then I bolted to my classroom, keeping watch over every crevice where another spawn might live.  Nasty.

That's all I have for now.  Come back later...there's sure to be more.