Almost a year ago I went back to work after an exhausting maternity leave. I was ready to return to work only because I needed consistency. I thrive in routine. Being at home all day every day with a newborn whose strength was not daytime napping had taken its toll on me. I needed a good ol' dose of 7 class periods with a bell every 47 minutes informing me to move to the next class. Ahhh, bliss. You think I joke. I don't. Consistency and cookies are my favorite. I love them equally. And I love me some cookies.
So back to school I went. With my handy-dandy breast pump.
About 6 weeks after my return, I was so exhausted from the daily duties that go along with teaching full-time and wifing full-time and mommying full-time. I was spent. So Daniel and I did some number-crunching and we realized that we could make some personal budget cuts and I could look for something part-time. My first and last stop in my job search was to talk to my principal (my supervisor). I was doubtful that what I would ask for would work, but I knew I would never know unless I asked.
I spelled it out to him: I'm tired. I'm sucking at life at home and I'm sucking at life at school. I want to keep teaching but I also want to be at home with my sweet Bennett. I want to work mornings and be a part-time employee.
And you know what? After months of conversations, he was able to grant my request. This year my contract is from 7:30-11:30 Monday through Friday (I teach high school special education). And it's so dreamy.
More than any other time in my life, I feel like I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing. I love my "get paid" job. I love high schoolers. Goodness, they are special people. And I love spending half my day with them. And I adore my "don't get paid" job. Toddler Bennett is a special little boy, and I'm thrilled and honored to spend the better part of my day with him.
Some of you are able to work full-time and still love your life. I was not. At least not in this season of my life. Our phenomenal babysitter would send us pictures of Bennett at the zoo, Bennett at a playground, Bennett on a walk. And while one part of my heart would rejoice that he was being taken care of so well, the other part would break that someone else was getting to see him experience all the fun things that go with being a kid. (Side note: I am forever grateful for our sitter and the love she gave our B. I just wanted to give him daytime love, too!)
To full-time working mommas: I get you. You are a rock-star. You're doing the best thing for your family. Be sure to give yourself lots of grace.
To part-time working mommas: I get you. You are the bees knees. You're doing the best thing for your family. Work hard when you work so when you're at home, you can be at home.
To stay-at-home mommas: I get you (I was at home all summer with my boy). Your job might not pay, but it is seriously tough stuff. Do a baby-sitting swap with a friend. You won't regret it.
What's the point of me telling you this?
Talk to your people and figure out what would be best for your family.
And then ask for it. You never know unless you ask.
