Hi, first-year teacher!

About this time every year I get all nostalgic.  Maybe it's the rainbow of colors out my window due to the leaves changing.  Maybe it's the cooler temperatures reminding me it won't be hot and humid and nasty forever.  But probably it's because I remember how I felt about this time 5 years ago when I had just finished my first quarter of my first year of teaching. I read this article last week and felt prompted to give my two cents to first-year teachers.  So whether you are a first-year teacher knee-deep neck-deep in all things school or you are a veteran teacher feeling like you're on the verge of becoming cynical and crotchety, my hope is that you feel encouraged after reading this.

I can split my first year of teaching into 4 distinct time frames:
1st quarter: You guys, I literally had no idea what was going on.  Ever.  I arrived at work by 6:45 every morning and stayed until at least 5 or 5:30, but looking back, I have no clue how I was even spending my time.  I rested Friday night and Saturday, but after lunch on Sunday, the rest of my day was spent doing school stuff (oh, and crying...always lots of crying).  My stellar mentor teacher shared her entire drive of files with me just to give me a head start and I had a kind freshman teacher who gave me her weekly plans every single week since I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE how to lesson plan.  It's like I hadn't just spent five years (yes, 5) preparing to be a teacher. I pulled my hair in front of the students, cried most days on my way home, and regularly asked my worst class dumb questions like, "Kids, what am I doing wrong? Why are you treating me this way?"  It was rough.

2nd quarter:  I was well into my third or fourth unit with both my classes, so I was beginning to develop a rhythm.  A friend and I started taking a yoga class twice a week which enabled me to not only leave before the sun set every day, but also provided me a time to literally just breathe.  Oh, I should also mention, I still didn't like what I was doing, ha. Nope, not at all.  I dreaded going to work every day and prayed all through December that we would get a snow day (spoiler alert - didn't happen).

(Not feeling encouraged? It gets better, promise).

3rd quarter:  While I still didn't enjoy going to work, I at least was beginning to feel a bit more confident.  I didn't have a 6th hour from hell any longer and the regularity of colleagues asking for my hall pass had slowed down (I teach at a large school, so being confused for a student was a common occurrence).  We had 5 snow days this quarter (of course I would remember that...I was praying for 25 snow days).

4th quarter: At this point, summer was within reach and all I had to do was knuckle down and make it.  I didn't yell at my students near as much (because, let's face it, when is that ever effective?!). I definitely found a rhythm to my everyday.  But mostly, I knew that I only had to survive a few more months before a clean slate.

Phew, you made it.  Looking back, I can laugh about it, but, I see you, first-teacher teacher, crying every day.  And I get that it's not funny, yet.

I can honestly say that I love my job now.  I really do.  But I could not have said that during my first four years.

After two years in the general English classroom, I decided, for a myriad of reasons, that gen ed English was not my happy place.  Not by a long-shot.  I wasn't ready to throw in the education towel, so I hopped over to special education.  And that, my friends, still wasn't my happy place for two years.  It was better, but not "I LOVE MY JOB. EVERYONE QUIT WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND JOIN ME" awesome. It was just fine for two years.

Let's talk about what shifted.

I had a baby and I TOOK A CHILL PILL (figuratively and literally, but we don't need to talk about the literally, ha - check out this post to understand why).

Now, this isn't me saying, "Go have a baby; it'll fix everything!"  Stop that. Don't be silly.  It won't fix everything.

Friends, it's all about perspective.

What is the hardest part about your job right now?  My answer to that question early on was that I was overwhelmed with such large classes and I felt like I wasn't meeting individual needs.  When I switched to special education, my answer was that I was bored.  I fixed that by changing how I taught.  It helped immensely to have a new curriculum handed to us - nothing boring about teaching something brand new every day!

So, sweet first-year teacher - what IS the hardest part about your job? Answer that question and then try to fix it.  Now, impressionable friend, do not, I repeat, DO NOT go down the rabbit-trail of "well if the administration would just do this" or "if my students were just different" or "if I didn't have to teach this."  Yada, yada.  There are a million things we don't have control of (that has nothing to do with teaching, but has everything to do with LIFE).  We can't fix a bazillion of our issues, but we can control ourselves.

You probably have lots of things bothering you as a first-year teacher (and that's okay!).  Be bothered - it's what makes you passionate!  But don't be bothered to the point that you burn out.  Ask for stinkin help.  You surely have a colleague down the hall a call or email away from handing you everything you could possibly need to plan the next quarter's worth of lessons.  Just ask.  We're teachers.  We love teaching. :)

This is getting all mumbly jumbly.  Gah, I just love you so much and think you're awesome and don't want you to quit just because you don't have it all figured out.  I'm six years in and I still have days I don't know what I'm going (I'm guessing teachers who have taught for much longer would say the same). We just have more teaching tools in our toolbox.  I guarantee you're adding to your toolbox every single day.  And the first day you get the chance to pull from that toolbox in a spur of the moment lesson will be the best day ever.  Because it will mean you're gonna make it.

Fight through this first year.  Every day might be a struggle, but you'll make it.  And you'll come out even stronger.  And no matter how much you think you're jacking up these kids, just remember: kids are crazy resilient.  They'll come out fine.  I promise it's going to be okay.

PS - if you seriously are struggling with the ins and outs of every day, please reach out to me if you don't feel like you have anyone.  I have a crap-ton of resources that can be modified to whatever level you kids are.  I got your back, friend.

First Year Teacher Stories: Part I

As of the last few weeks, something has been heavy on my heart.  Not in a "I feel convicted about this and must confess" sort of way.  More like "I have hilarious stories from 3 years ago that MUST be made public" sort of way.   You see, sweet readers, while I may be in my fourth year of teaching (my goodness, that makes me feel of the elder persuasion), I was once a bumbling mess of a first year teacher.  And yes, I mean BUMBLING - like, trip over bookbags (oh wait, that still happens), misspeak while saying "get out your sheets of paper" (gotta keep it G-rated on this here blog), and literally pull on my hair while yelling, "Just PLEASE LISTEN!" (sadly, yes, that happened). 

The point is:  I got stories.  And these stories - they must be told.  And while this is titled "part I," if I find that telling these stories actually brings up all sorts of terrible memories, there may not be a part II.  However, if, as I suspect, I find that these stories continue to humor men, women, and children of all ages, there will be parts II-XIV.  So pull up your bootstraps pal, for this could be a long ride. 

I'll begin with my first "in front of the class meltdown."  It's a doozy, I tell ya.  You should know that this story takes place during my 6th hour.  And if you have been a faithful reader for the past 3 years, you know that my 6th hour that first semester was horrid.  HORRID.  And that's not an exaggeration. 

The day of the meltdown I had created a stupid lesson.  I had the kids read all sorts of nonsense about F. Scott Fitzgerald and then write a paragraph about his life.  Sounds all good and fun, right?  Apparently not.  My 6th hour moaned and groaned as I gave the assignment, but I thought, "Silly kids.  They'll soon find out that this is the bee's knees."  Oh friends, I was so wrong (about so many things that first year). 

During the independent work time for this particular lesson, I remember zooming from kid to kid attempting to answer questions but failing miserably (you see, I hadn't learned yet that you should really attempt the assignment before asking the kids to do so...rookie mistake).   The kiddos were so confused and I clearly didn't have an answer for them.  And they kept talking!  Can you believe it?  Teenagers were talking after I asked them not to!?  Oh the humanity!!!  So I warned them that they better stop....or else.....  I seriously had no plan B.  So kept warning them thinking they'll get the hint.  Sadly, they didn't.

Finally I said, "If you don't stop talking and do your work, I'm going to take the assignment from you and you're going to have to come in on your own time to finish it!!!"  I didn't even think I meant it.  But 20 seconds later, I had this strange out-of-body experience and I heard myself say, no, yell, "THAT'S IT!  EVERYONE HAND FORWARD YOUR PAPERS.  WE'RE MOVING ON!!!!"  And internally, I was all, "Heidi (curse word, curse word, curse word), what are you doing!?!?  You have nothing to move on to!!!  You better think fast, you crazy woman, or this is going to get even more out of hand."

And the best part about the moment?  I really thought I was teaching the kids a lesson.  You know, you don't do you work, you're going to pay, suckers.  You better call home and let mom and pops know you'll be staying after (insert evil laugh).  Oh how wrong I was.  Their response as they handed forward their papers?  Cheers.  Laughter.  High-fives.  I kid you not.  Which, of course, only made me angrier. 

By this point, I was literally shaking and sweat was pouring out of every pore on my body.  But I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer, and did the only thing I could think of:  "Kids, get out your books.  We're just going to start reading."  I honestly don't think I had even previewed the next story (first year, friends, first year).  But my toolbox of teaching strategies was already empty, so that's where I went. 

I'm sure the bell rang 10 minutes later, and I'm sure I'm the only individual in the class who even remembers that tragic day.  Even so, it remains forever burned into my mind - the day I lost my cool and gave the kids exactly what they wanted - an excuse to stop working.  Lesson learned:  always have a plan B, for you never know when your alter-ego is going to take over the class and demand that we move on.  Scary stuff, folks.

And that's just the beginning of tales of my first year.   Stay tuned for part II, that is, if you want to read a part II...........

Break!

Today officially begins my Christmas break.  And I'm truly thankful.  For so many things.

Thankful for a job where I get paid to love on teenagers.  How bizarre is that!?

Thankful for my crazy students.  One kid, who is nearly always a behavior problem, gave me a priceless glimpse into his heart yesterday.  I was working with him on a reading final and he regularly paused to strike up conversation with me.  (He really struggles with focusing, so I wasn't at all surprised that he had something to say every 5 minutes.)  I've been praying for this young man lately.  Praying that I will begin to see him as an individual and not just a behavior problem.  And the Lord is faithful, as always.  I saw this young man's heart.  I listened as he explained his sadness toward the people in Connecticut and his anger toward the shooter.  Later, he told me how excited he is that his doctor gave him the go-ahead to increase his meds (which, in turn, will help him focus more and be less of a behavior issue for teachers).  In that hour and 45 minutes, he was no longer a "behavior issue."  Instead, he was transformed into a maturing young man who just wants to be heard.  And heard him, I did.  I'm sure he and I will still get into it after break and I'm sure I'll still want to pull my hair out after working with him on occasion, but I sincerely hope that I will remind myself of the human that I was able to see yesterday.

Thankful for my co-workers.  I've received so many Christmas cards and treats in the past week.  Even though I don't always see eye-to-eye with my colleagues, I'm thankful they are in my life.  They make the rough days bearable.

Thankful for my superiors.  Not trying to kiss any behinds here (because let's face it, they are definitely not reading this), but I report to an amazing principal.  It is evident he loves his kids and evident that he wants his staff to be successful. 

Thankful for my "new" job.  I'm a semester into teaching special education, so it's hardly "new" anymore.  About once a week, I pause in awe of the Lord's faithfulness and supreme provision.  Even a year ago I wouldn't have thought that the SPED world would be for me.  Mid-February is when the ball first started rolling.  I love working one-on-one with students who legitimately need my assistance.  I love working in a co-teaching environment.  And I even love the paperwork.  I'm notoriously bad at planning my life, so I suppose it shouldn't have shocked me much that my initial plan didn't work out.  Again, God is faithful.

So I begin my time away from the kiddos today.  I'm sure I'll miss them, but after teaching for only a short 2 1/2 years, I've learned that breaks are good for us all.  My 5th hour will have to wait until after break to hear my sweet recorder tunes, but I'm sure they won't be too bummed.  Happy snow day to those of you who are enjoying the perks of the education realm!

PS - did ya notice anything different about my blog?  A friend who used to teach at my high school did a bang-up job, don't ya think?  Thanks, Ashley!  I love it!!!

Friday Funnies: Year 3

Friends.  I only have a few school-related funnies, but let's go ahead and get started.

1:
Let me set up the scenario.  Two days ago, I wore skinny black pants to school.  It's important to know that I wear these at least once week and I've had them since last fall.  They're dang comfortable and they're black, so they go with everything.  I've never, in my dozens and dozens of times of wearing them, had a student make a comment in regards to their style/fit.  I suppose there's a first thing for everything.  What follows is the dialogue between a female student and I:
Female Student:  Mrs. Carlson, are those skinny jeans?
MC:  Yes.
FS:  I bet you feel like you're in high school again when you wear those.
MC:  Well, skinny jeans weren't around when I was in high school.
FS:  It's only a matter of time before you're walking in the hall and a boy comes up behind you and is all, "Hey girl, how you doin?"
MC:  Thankfully that hasn't happened yet.
End of conversation.

2:
I walked into school this morning at approximately 6:50 am (I'm a morning person, just let me be).  And what should my wandering eyes see?
A hostile mob of parents?  No.
The marching band?  No.
A stray cat?  No. 
A million construction workers?  Yes, but that's not the point.
A suspicious bookbag?  No.
A snake?  Yes.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

People, I do not lie to you.  One of satan's own was on the freshly scrubbed tile.  Thankfully a student was only a few feet ahead of me.  I literally froze in my tracks when I saw it.  Enter dialogue:
MC:  Is that a snake?
Male Student:  Yes.
MC:  Are you afraid of snakes?
MS:  No.
MC:  Will you please remove it from the premises?
MS:  Yes.

I stuck around long enough to see said male student pick up said spawn of satan.  Then I bolted to my classroom, keeping watch over every crevice where another spawn might live.  Nasty.

That's all I have for now.  Come back later...there's sure to be more.

7 1/2...

The count-down is on. 7 1/2 school days from now, I will be free.

Free to cook.

Free to organize.

Free to paint.

Free to sleep in.

Free to grab lunch with a friend.

Free to make a day-trip to see a friend.

Free.

Oh how I long for freedom.

In the meantime, however, I'll bask in knowing that, hopefully, at least one student is feeling loved by me every day.  I certainly hope so.

Note to self:  don't act like the end of the year is near.  Keep giving it all you've got until the very last day.

So close...

News/Changes/Announcement/Etc.

Several weeks ago, I mentioned that I was going to give you some "big news."  Several weeks have come and gone, and I assumed everyone forgot.  Apparently, a few people remembered and are interested.  Allow me to elaborate!  And, just to make things interesting, allow my elaboration to be in the form of a timeline.

Let's get started.

March 2010: teaching job offered and accepted

May 2010:  college graduation (after only 5 short years...)

June 2010:  wedding (yipee! what a fun day!!)

August 2010:  begin teaching (thinking about those first few weeks is making me a bit nauseated...not the best mems)

August 2010-May 2011:  survive first year (check!)

August 2011:  begin second year (after a rejuvenating and reinvigorating summer)

September-November 2011:  genuinely enjoy job...enough to buy a house in the community

November 2011:  feeling restless at job, but not sure why (at this point, I'm still not admitting to myself that I'm vocationally dissatisfied)

January 2012:  finally admit (out loud!) that joy is missing from my vocation. Pray: God, please drop an opportunity in my lap.  I don't care what it is, but I can't keep doing what I'm doing.  I don't know why I'm unhappy, but something needs to change.

February 2012:  a colleague mentions the possibility of switching to special education (I'm certified in 6-12 English and 6-12 special education).  Huzzie's ear is talked off over the course of several weeks.  The powers that be are talked to regarding a potential switch.  Still no opening in the SPED department, so merely a possibility...

March-April2012 (here's where it gets exciting...so exciting that it deserves a bulleted list instead of only one sentence!)

• Spring break:  prayers that I will figure out what I dislike about my job.  Answer:  it's overstimulating ALL THE TIME and I apparently can't handle that.  It's exhausting standing in front of 30 people when only 5 are listening.  Love the planning, dislike the implementing.  Want to help the 5% who are not getting it, but must keep rolling through due to time constraints and class size.  Inability to relationally connect due to large class size.  
• Monday after spring break:  prayers that a certain teacher will dislike the idea of coming back from spring break so much that she decides to retire
• Thursday after spring break:  colleague (and friend) stops by my room to let me know that said teacher was so bummed to have to come back after spring break that she decided to retire (!!!!!)
• Friday after spring break:  e-mail from SPED principal announcing the opening
• Friday after spring break:  e-mail TO human resources declaring interest in the position
• Following Monday:  e-mail FROM human resources declaring that the job is mine (!!!!!!!!!)
• Next Tuesday:  paperwork signed, job officially mine, English department told, welcomed into SPED department

So that's my news.

I will be co-teaching 3 hours of sophomore English  with one of my favorite persons, 1 hour of reading, and 1 hour of interrelated English. To say I'm elated is an understatement.  I'm humbled by God's grace in this entire situation, and I'm convinced that next year will be better than this yer.

Long story, I know, but some of you asked. :)

There are more examples of how God is ridiculously awesome at orchestrating all the miniscule details in our lives, but this has gone on long enough.

Yay for a new chapter.  Yay for a change.  Yay for a new classroom.  Yay for teaching with a friend.  Yay for a smart board in my new room.  YAY for smaller class sizes.  Yay for administrative paperwork (you think I'm kidding...but I'm not...I love this kind of thing).  And yay for less grading.

Happiness all around.

Grieving

My heart is grieving this week.  On Tuesday, my principal called to inform me of some "bad news."  A student of mine was killed in a car accident on Monday night.

I've only taught her for about 6 weeks (I didn't have her last semester and she was at a different school for the first part of this semester), but my heart still grieves.

Naturally, I think of my last interaction with her.  Was it positive enough?

On Thursday and Friday of last week, my kiddos were a little insane, but I told myself not to make it a big deal because their insanity was likely due to spring break being just around the corner.  So I didn't make it a big deal.  The girl who was killed was really pushing my buttons on those days.  I wrestled with what to do because I knew any kind of discipline would not be helpful due to the impending break.  So I pushed her, but not too much.

The first question that came to mind when I heard the news was, did she know Jesus?  I grieve if she didn't and I rejoice if she did.  I grieve with her family.  I'm not even a parent, and I can't imagine being told my 15-year-old has been killed. I grieve with her friends.  Teenagers are so wonderful, but sometimes in their wonderfulness, they forget that they are not invincible.  And I grieve with my 7th hour.  It's a small class (25 students...my smallest class of sophomores), and I know her presence will be missed.

So now the question is, what do I say to a group of confused, grieving, and aching teenagers?  Oh to have the freedom to tell them about Jesus.

My prayer now is that the Lord will provide the words to say what needs to be said, the eyes to see what needs must be addressed, and the ears to hear my sweet students' thoughts.

When life is confusing and I don't understand why certain things happen, I must remind myself:  God is good, and He only does good.

Sad Day

Yesterday was a sad day in podium-world.

If only I carried a tube of wood glue in my purse.  Then all would be right with the world...

She Bakes

My view for the afternoon:

Not bad, eh?

Sheree's No-Fail Chocolate Chip Cookies (or M&M's...or whatever you have on hand)
2 1/4 c. flour
1 t. baking soda
1/2 c. margarine
1/2 c. butter
1/4 c. sugar
3/4 c. brown sugar
1 t. vanilla
1 pkg. instant vanilla pudding
2 eggs
12 oz. choc chips


Mix flour and baking soda.  Cream together butter, margarine, sugar, and brown sugar. Mix together vanilla and pudding mix, then add eggs.  Mix all together after mixing each separately (or don't...and do what I do...put all your wet ingredients in, then dump the dry ones in a cup at a time...I make my own rules).  Stir in choc chips.  Chill for 20-30 minutes (makes them nice and fluffy when you bake them). Bake 8-10 minutes at 375.

Make these right now.  Your cookie world will blow up.  Because these are so simple and so delectable.  And because they remind you of home.  And because your 130 students need treats this week...

Be Realz

im gunna b rlz 4 a sec. tk it r lv it.

I'm a little tired of sloppy work.  And by a "little," I mean A LOT.  I've gone through too much red ink...

I know my kiddos have a life outside of my class.  In fact, I regularly remind myself that my classroom is far from real life.

But seriously.

Marking up essay after essay and study guide after study guide is just exhausting.  I've been timing myself as I've been grading the latest batch of essays.  The strugglers take up to 10 minutes to grade while the beauties take 3-4 minutes.  I sigh.

And then there are the bright moments:

• The kiddo who stays until 5 to catch up in my class
• The connections made to the Kardashians...regardless of what we're reading
• The team who names themselves "Mrs. Carlson's Favorite"...and then wins the review game.  I laugh.
• The student who comes in at 7 am for help
• The last-minute unit switcheroo that actually works
• The sound of students thinking = silence 

 Teaching is wonderful.  Really wonderful.  But so so so exhausting.  To all you teachers out there - I feel your pain, and I rejoice in your light-bulb moments.

I've never been one to "live for the weekend," but I am thankful for Thanksgiving break.

I am also, however, thankful that my kids like what we're doing.

Life is too short to dwell with negative Nancy's.  As I tell my students:  it's all about perspective.

Current perspective I'm aiming for:  glass half-full.

Elementary?

These popsicle sticks made their way into my classroom today...

...and I used them for two different reasons.

Class A:  too many chatty chatters.  So each time I must remind them to stay on task OR each time a student blurts out, a stick is removed.  When all 5 sticks are removed, the students miss out on 1 minute of their  passing period.  If I must "put one stick back" because they are still disrupting, they miss out on 2 minutes of their passing period.  It's kind of a big deal.  Of course, of course, there are reinforcements for positive behavior.  I had them create their reinforcements, I'm "mulling them over" tonight, and I'll have a big reveal tomorrow.  Like I said, it's kind of a big deal...

Class B:  too many bathroom goers/task avoiders.  I have 3 sticks on the board for this class.  Each time a student leaves the room, a stick is removed.  When all sticks are removed, no on else leaves.  I told them today that since "I have to hold it, they do too."  This is also kind of a big deal...

Yay for using my "Behavior Management" class knowledge!!!!

And yay for finding a way to use popsicle sticks in a secondary classroom!!

KATE: Update

Please tell me you caught the rhyme.

On Saturday I told you all about the wonderful time I had at the KATE conference.  Since then, I've rehashed the experience times 5 as I told each class.  I thought you might be interested in their responses...

• In response to the picture of my decorations:  
• "Oh wow, that's really beautiful, Mrs. Carlson." - 15 year-old boy
• "Are those real pumpkins?" - 15 year-old boy
• "That is legit."
• "Did you carve all the pumpkins?" (note:  the pumpkins were those itty bitty ones)
• In response to the picture of Jay Asher and I:  "Mrs. Carlson, he is totally mackin' on you." - 15 year-old boy (are you noticing a trend??) - this comment was followed by an awkward back-pedal performed gracefully by yours truly...
• In response to one of the group pictures:  "Hey!  Those are all English teachers!"  

Cute kids.  And full of charm, wit, and grace. 

KATE

No, silly, not THAT Kate...although she does have great style.

THIS KATE.  That's where I was last week.  And it was super fab.  And I spent lots of time with Jay Asher.  If you don't know who he is, stop reading this blog immediately, go to your local library or bookstore, and don't leave until you have a copy of his book, Thirteen Reasons Why, in your hands.  It's dang good...I read it in an afternoon.  Please return once you have a copy.  We'll wait...

Waiting...

Waiting...

Still waiting...

Oh good, you've returned.  Before you begin the book, check out some pics from the conference planned by my colleague, John.

For those of you who chose not to follow the multitude of links above, KATE stands for "Kansas Association of Teachers of English".  My colleagues and friends, John and Bryan, and both on the board.  And as I mentioned, John was the master planner of this year's conference.  In September, he swung (swang?  swinged?) by room and asked if I would do table decor for the conference.  And since I love me a good challenge, I answered, "Duh, yes."

Here, my friends, is proof that I slapped some arrangements together while my colleagues threw down some napkins, baby-sized gourds, tulle, and books taken borrowed from the school's book closet - do not fear fellow teachers, said books are not currently being used by any teacher.  Said books will also be promptly returned Monday morning. 

 

Here I am!  Scratch that.  More importantly, here Jay Asher is!!!  He signed my copy.  Lest you think that's the only fun I had with him, just you wait.  

 Jay Asher (it is humanly impossible to call an author by just his first name) mentioned at lunch that he wanted to enjoy some quality ice cream with us later that evening.  We, of course, imagined he was joking.  My friends, he was not.  So we scheduled a time to meet Jay Asher in the lobby of our hotel, and we ventured out into the grand metropolis of Wichita.  Because I claim to know Wichita like the back of my hand, I was nominated as the official tour guide...which meant I got to ride shot-gun in our enormous suburban.  I'll take it.

So here we are at Braum's in northish, eastish Wichita.  For those of you who want to know (aka:  Mom), mentor Courtney is on the left, co-presenter Jess is on the right, conference planner John is on the right in red, and department head Bryan is on the right in green.  Oh, and Jay Asher is between Jess and Courtney. And my head is the enormous one at the front. 

 Following our time at Braum's, I gave Jay Asher a few options.  My options were mostly lame...because it was a Thursday night and I doubted anything cool would be happening.  BUT he chose to check out Old Town.  So we ventured even further west.  Old Town was anything but hopping, so we re-loaded the suburban and ventured back to our hotel.

On our way back, I nostalgically pointed out every memory I had in downtown Wichita.  I'm sure I sighed a baker's dozen times.  I haphazardly mentioned that there was a donut store with a chicken on top somewhere in downtown Wichita.  Jay Asher proclaimed, "I love donuts!!"  My immediate internal reaction:  dangit, I do not know where this donut store with a chicken on top is.  My heart began racing as I reached for my space phone to use an app (suggested to me by mentor/friend Courtney who just presented on using space phones in the classroom) to locate said donut store with a chicken on top.  But when I looked up, I spotted the most glorious sight in the distance - a ginormous chicken atop a two-story building!  I knew it was the donut store with a chicken on top.  So into the parking lot we pulled, into the donut store with a chicken on top we walked, various-flavored donuts we ordered, and atop cheetah-printed carpet we sat.  For over an hour.  We enjoyed feeling like carefree college students eating junk food late at night and talking about random 80's/90's movies.  Being the baby that I am, many of the early 90's/80's movie/culture references I did not understand, but to be in the presence of these wonderful people while sitting atop cheetah-printed carpet in a donut store with a chicken on top made the moment absolutely wonderful.

 Following our exploration of Wichita, we ended the night at the bar of our hotel where we all enjoyed girly drinks, purchased by none other than Jay Asher himself. 

Jay Asher, if you're reading this, thanks for the memories.  It was truly a memorable night.  

And John, thanks for planning such a fabulous conference (please imagine a high-pitched squeal at this time).  You plan a dang good conference. 

And colleagues/friends, thanks for being who you are.  I can't imagine teaching alongside anyone else.  You've truly made the first 12 months of my teaching career remarkable.  I owe much of who I am as a teacher to you.  

Funny

Sometimes life gets in the way of posting hilarious scenarios.  Case in point - the last 3 weeks.  To make up for lack of posts, here are a few funnies from the past several weeks...

• Freshman student drops a book as he enters the class.  He responds, "Oh, I'm so sorry to the entire world of literature!"  
• Whilst trying to be entirely serious to my freshmen about the need to stay focused in the computer lab, I said, "You need to prove to me that you can sit wherever you want.  I do NOT want to move me.  Uh, I mean, I do NOT want to move YOU."  Fail.
• On October 12, the students were recording the date on a piece of paper.  One student asked about the date, and I responded, "It's 10.12.11.  How cool!  Yesterday was 10.11.12!!  Did anyone notice that!?"  Blank stares.  Awkward silence.  Immediate realization.  Embarrassed follow-up:  "Dangit, it's not 2012."
• My freshmen always provide me with hilarious moments.  I may or may not have scared them into submission last week by threatening to make them write an essay every other day if they don't stay focused.  I said, "We don't have to keep doing what we're doing.  It doesn't bother me either way.  It would NOT make me sad to assign you an essay 3 times a week."  Sweet, well-meaning, occasionally class-clown responds, "Mrs. Carlson, you know it would make you sad to assign that."  I may or may not have cut him off mid-sentence.  Perhaps because I knew if I let him keep talking, I would lose my focus and begin giggling uncontrollably.
• Last week, a student was texting in class.  I told him to put his phone away.  Normally such a request works like a charm.  Unfortunately, this time I was given the "finger".  I know what you're thinking.  Not that finger.  He gave the index finger...as if to say, "Wait a second.  I'm not done yet."  My response was a fierce march in his general direction to retrieve his phone for the duration of the day.  
• A few weeks ago, the fire alarm started ringing about 20 minutes into class.  Instead of chaotically heading out the door, my sweet students lined up single-file until I noticed and told them to get moving.  Sweet kiddos.  So compliant. 

That's all I have, folks.  Thanks for being faithful.  I'll leave you with a symbolic picture.  I'd like to think this is how I look/feel when a student has a light-bulb moment.  Filled with elation.

Happy weekend, friends!

Advice?

This week, I was asked to write a one-page essay of advice for novice teachers.  I love writing, but forced writing is not my favorite thing.  *Cue "now you know how your students feel".*  I know.  But as soon as I started writing, I couldn't stop.  I had well over a page and ended up trimming most of the stylistic aspects.  I'm certain I don't have all the answers for novice teachers, but I'm also certain that my advice is sound.  So new teachers, read this.  Be inspired, or, at the very least, know that better days are ahead.

After successfully completing your first year of teaching, what advice would you give a beginning teacher?

            First of all, just relax.  Your “to-do” list will be long, and it will not shrink until May.  And then you’ll start to think about everything you want to change for next year, and your list will lengthen again. Everything will get done, you just need to prioritize. 

            Utilize the resources around you.  Regardless of the size of your school, there will be at least one veteran teacher down the hall.  Teaching is not meant to be a lonely occupation, so spend time collaborating with your colleagues.  If you are still sitting at your desk banging your head against the wall at 5 pm because you are unable to think of an idea for tomorrow, call someone!  Someone probably has an idea that will give you direction for the next lesson. 

            Contact parents early on, and stay in contact with them.  Contacting parents does not need to be like swimming with sharks.  The earlier you contact them about something positive, the easier it will be to contact them if/when you have an issue with their child.

            Get to know the students, but do not stress out if you’re unable to relate to one.  While you may not have something in common with each student, you can at least let them know you care.  Recognize their birthdays, celebrate their accomplishments (academic, athletic, musical, etc.), and attend their events. 

            Don’t expect perfection from yourself or your students.  Inform them on day one that you are not perfect.  If you trip, forget things, mispronounce a word, or drop your supplies in front of them, laugh it off.  They need to see that you are a real person.  Tell them personal stories that relate to your lesson and show that you were once a teenager. 

            Last, but certainly not least, love your job.  Even on the hard days, love that you have an opportunity to make a difference in students’ lives. 

Say what?

Student:  misbehaves

Mrs. Carlson:  walks over to student

Student:  avoids eye contact

Mrs. Carlson quote of the day (just after demanding eye contact):  "If this behavior becomes a trend, you and I are going to have problems bigger than you could possibly imagine."

I walked away and started laughing.  Only because I have no idea what these larger than life "problems" will be.  The good news is that I didn't need the answer right then.

Oh teaching, it's a funny thing.

Oh sheesh.

Days like these make me wonder, "Why can't I work at Burger King?"  JK.  Kinda.

Not a bad day.  Just a full day.

Sophies (sophomores, if you're new) started writing today.  Writing projects = exhausting days.  I think (and hope) the kiddos learn, but, oh mah word, they have a zillion questions.  Today I instated a new rule:  before you ask Mrs. Carlson, you must ask your neighbor.  I think it worked.  At least a little.  I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to answer as many questions as I could while trying to explain as clearly as I could.  Oh goodness.  I also wore a dress.  Bad decision.  Bending over in a dress = awkward.  Squatting down in a dress = awkward stand-up process.  Wearing a dress on a writing day = poor decision.  Oh sheesh.

I have one incredibly high-functioning class of freshies (freshmen, again, if you're new), and one incredibly low-functioning class of freshies.  The high class always blows me out of the water and the low class leaves me dumb-founded as to how to teach them better/differently.  Oh sheesh.

I had my first crier of the year.  I tend to have lots of tear-filled students...hopefully that is unrelated to the fact that I am their teacher.   Hopefully.  Today's situation was unique.  And good.  Not good because aforementioned student was crying.  Good because it caused me to pause.  I had a million things going through my head, but talking with that student was not one of them.  It made me slow down (VERY difficult for me), be patient, and listen.  I asked student if he wanted to talk to me or a counselor, and he said he wanted to talk to me.  So I suppose I'm doing something right.  Oh sheesh.

I took my sophies' tests home yesterday...and totally forgot to grade them.  I suppose I know what will entertain me tonight.  Oh sheesh.

Last week I had a sweet student say, "I don't ever say this because I think it's dumb, but TGIF."  Touche, sweet student, touche.

TGI(almost)F.  Oh sheesh.........

Mid-week Funnies

The stories are starting to roll in...so if you follow purely because of my hilarious school tales, stay tuned.

Today I:

• tripped over a girl's backpack.
• stumbled over the phrase "World War I" for 10 minutes.
• made the kids who forgot their textbooks march back to their lockers...and counted them tardy (I was that teacher today).
• dropped my notes 5 times (yes, five times) in one class period.  What does that say about me?
• paused mid-reading to my 7th hour and proclaimed, "I feel like I'm talking to a wall."  Blank stares.  So I continued, "Are you guys just so incredibly exhausted?!"  Blank stares, blink, blink.  "Oh my word!" (yes, I used the cliche, totally over-used Heidi/Mrs. Carlson phrase).  Blank stares.  Suffice it to say, new reading strategies will be used tomorrow during 7th hour. Tired students = exhausted Mrs. Carlson.  Current mantra:  the students should be working harder than the teacher.  I need to make that a reality. 

As I mentioned, the stories are coming.  And they are good.  Stick around.

Two Decades

First day of my 20th year of school.  I'm all about big milestones, people. 

Close-up on the best part of the ensemble.  Who wouldn't want to carry their lunch in this lovely?

Follow-up:  recipes from yesterday's post are forthcoming.  Naturally, I'm excited to share.

Also, naturally, I'm excited to continue my pursuit of selling English class to 15 year-olds.  I will win them over.  Scratch that.  I will not do anything.  Hopefully the reading material will speak for itself.  Week 3...here we go!

First Day of School

My cam-cam isn't cooperating, so no "first day of school" pic...yet. Speaking of "cam-cam," do you watch Parks & Recreation?  You should.  Especially because of this:

I digress.

Today was a pretty great day.  I made sure to embarrass myself a handful of times. I mumbled.  I forgot a dozen names.  I tripped.  I sweated (swat?).  I said things that teenage boys thought were funny - never a good sign.  I went without a snack (shocker).

My throat hurts because I talked all day.  I'm used to going 7+ hours without saying a word.  Poor kids.  I totally word-vomited all over them (too far? Sorry.).

I learned some new names that I really like.  I pronounced 95% of the names correctly.  I made 95% of the kiddos laugh...at least once...perhaps at my own expense.  Essentially, I made some dang good jokes.

Like I said, it was a good day.

But this, by far, made it the best:

I'm pretending it's from all sophomores from last year.  Please don't point out that it may or may not be grammatically correct.  It was a perfect back to school treat, and I'll take it.

So that was today.  I'm exhausted, but totally looking forward to the rest of the year.

Bring on the stories!