October 27, 2015

Hi, first-year teacher!

About this time every year I get all nostalgic.  Maybe it's the rainbow of colors out my window due to the leaves changing.  Maybe it's the cooler temperatures reminding me it won't be hot and humid and nasty forever.  But probably it's because I remember how I felt about this time 5 years ago when I had just finished my first quarter of my first year of teaching. I read this article last week and felt prompted to give my two cents to first-year teachers.  So whether you are a first-year teacher knee-deep neck-deep in all things school or you are a veteran teacher feeling like you're on the verge of becoming cynical and crotchety, my hope is that you feel encouraged after reading this.

I can split my first year of teaching into 4 distinct time frames:
1st quarter: You guys, I literally had no idea what was going on.  Ever.  I arrived at work by 6:45 every morning and stayed until at least 5 or 5:30, but looking back, I have no clue how I was even spending my time.  I rested Friday night and Saturday, but after lunch on Sunday, the rest of my day was spent doing school stuff (oh, and crying...always lots of crying).  My stellar mentor teacher shared her entire drive of files with me just to give me a head start and I had a kind freshman teacher who gave me her weekly plans every single week since I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE how to lesson plan.  It's like I hadn't just spent five years (yes, 5) preparing to be a teacher. I pulled my hair in front of the students, cried most days on my way home, and regularly asked my worst class dumb questions like, "Kids, what am I doing wrong? Why are you treating me this way?"  It was rough.

2nd quarter:  I was well into my third or fourth unit with both my classes, so I was beginning to develop a rhythm.  A friend and I started taking a yoga class twice a week which enabled me to not only leave before the sun set every day, but also provided me a time to literally just breathe.  Oh, I should also mention, I still didn't like what I was doing, ha. Nope, not at all.  I dreaded going to work every day and prayed all through December that we would get a snow day (spoiler alert - didn't happen).

(Not feeling encouraged? It gets better, promise).

3rd quarter:  While I still didn't enjoy going to work, I at least was beginning to feel a bit more confident.  I didn't have a 6th hour from hell any longer and the regularity of colleagues asking for my hall pass had slowed down (I teach at a large school, so being confused for a student was a common occurrence).  We had 5 snow days this quarter (of course I would remember that...I was praying for 25 snow days).

4th quarter: At this point, summer was within reach and all I had to do was knuckle down and make it.  I didn't yell at my students near as much (because, let's face it, when is that ever effective?!). I definitely found a rhythm to my everyday.  But mostly, I knew that I only had to survive a few more months before a clean slate.

Phew, you made it.  Looking back, I can laugh about it, but, I see you, first-teacher teacher, crying every day.  And I get that it's not funny, yet.

I can honestly say that I love my job now.  I really do.  But I could not have said that during my first four years.

After two years in the general English classroom, I decided, for a myriad of reasons, that gen ed English was not my happy place.  Not by a long-shot.  I wasn't ready to throw in the education towel, so I hopped over to special education.  And that, my friends, still wasn't my happy place for two years.  It was better, but not "I LOVE MY JOB. EVERYONE QUIT WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND JOIN ME" awesome. It was just fine for two years.

Let's talk about what shifted.

I had a baby and I TOOK A CHILL PILL (figuratively and literally, but we don't need to talk about the literally, ha - check out this post to understand why).

Now, this isn't me saying, "Go have a baby; it'll fix everything!"  Stop that. Don't be silly.  It won't fix everything.

Friends, it's all about perspective.

What is the hardest part about your job right now?  My answer to that question early on was that I was overwhelmed with such large classes and I felt like I wasn't meeting individual needs.  When I switched to special education, my answer was that I was bored.  I fixed that by changing how I taught.  It helped immensely to have a new curriculum handed to us - nothing boring about teaching something brand new every day!

So, sweet first-year teacher - what IS the hardest part about your job? Answer that question and then try to fix it.  Now, impressionable friend, do not, I repeat, DO NOT go down the rabbit-trail of "well if the administration would just do this" or "if my students were just different" or "if I didn't have to teach this."  Yada, yada.  There are a million things we don't have control of (that has nothing to do with teaching, but has everything to do with LIFE).  We can't fix a bazillion of our issues, but we can control ourselves.

You probably have lots of things bothering you as a first-year teacher (and that's okay!).  Be bothered - it's what makes you passionate!  But don't be bothered to the point that you burn out.  Ask for stinkin help.  You surely have a colleague down the hall a call or email away from handing you everything you could possibly need to plan the next quarter's worth of lessons.  Just ask.  We're teachers.  We love teaching. :)

This is getting all mumbly jumbly.  Gah, I just love you so much and think you're awesome and don't want you to quit just because you don't have it all figured out.  I'm six years in and I still have days I don't know what I'm going (I'm guessing teachers who have taught for much longer would say the same). We just have more teaching tools in our toolbox.  I guarantee you're adding to your toolbox every single day.  And the first day you get the chance to pull from that toolbox in a spur of the moment lesson will be the best day ever.  Because it will mean you're gonna make it.

Fight through this first year.  Every day might be a struggle, but you'll make it.  And you'll come out even stronger.  And no matter how much you think you're jacking up these kids, just remember: kids are crazy resilient.  They'll come out fine.  I promise it's going to be okay.

PS - if you seriously are struggling with the ins and outs of every day, please reach out to me if you don't feel like you have anyone.  I have a crap-ton of resources that can be modified to whatever level you kids are.  I got your back, friend.

August 17, 2015

An Update, of Sorts

Jobs are funny, aren't they?  I mean, we need them to financially take care of our people.  And, let's face it, we need them to give us something to do...whether IN or OUT of the home.  In a perfect world, we would all have a job we love that enables us to be financially set AND personally satisfied.  The trouble is that our world isn't perfect.

Almost a year ago I went back to work after an exhausting maternity leave.  I was ready to return to work only because I needed consistency.  I thrive in routine.  Being at home all day every day with a newborn whose strength was not daytime napping had taken its toll on me.  I needed a good ol' dose of 7 class periods with a bell every 47 minutes informing me to move to the next class.  Ahhh, bliss.  You think I joke.  I don't.  Consistency and cookies are my favorite.  I love them equally.  And I love me some cookies.

So back to school I went.  With my handy-dandy breast pump.

About 6 weeks after my return, I was so exhausted from the daily duties that go along with teaching full-time and wifing full-time and mommying full-time.  I was spent.  So Daniel and I did some number-crunching and we realized that we could make some personal budget cuts and I could look for something part-time.  My first and last stop in my job search was to talk to my principal (my supervisor).  I was doubtful that what I would ask for would work, but I knew I would never know unless I asked.

I spelled it out to him: I'm tired. I'm sucking at life at home and I'm sucking at life at school.  I want to keep teaching but I also want to be at home with my sweet Bennett.  I want to work mornings and be a part-time employee.

And you know what?  After months of conversations, he was able to grant my request.  This year my contract is from 7:30-11:30 Monday through Friday (I teach high school special education).  And it's so dreamy.

More than any other time in my life, I feel like I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing.  I love my "get paid" job.  I love high schoolers.  Goodness, they are special people.  And I love spending half my day with them.  And I adore my "don't get paid" job.  Toddler Bennett is a special little boy, and I'm thrilled and honored to spend the better part of my day with him.

Some of you are able to work full-time and still love your life.  I was not.  At least not in this season of my life.  Our phenomenal babysitter would send us pictures of Bennett at the zoo, Bennett at a playground, Bennett on a walk.  And while one part of my heart would rejoice that he was being taken care of so well, the other part would break that someone else was getting to see him experience all the fun things that go with being a kid. (Side note: I am forever grateful for our sitter and the love she gave our B.  I just wanted to give him daytime love, too!)

To full-time working mommas:  I get you.  You are a rock-star.  You're doing the best thing for your family.  Be sure to give yourself lots of grace.

To part-time working mommas: I get you.  You are the bees knees.  You're doing the best thing for your family.  Work hard when you work so when you're at home, you can be at home.

To stay-at-home mommas: I get you (I was at home all summer with my boy).  Your job might not pay, but it is seriously tough stuff.  Do a baby-sitting swap with a friend.  You won't regret it.

What's the point of me telling you this?

Talk to your people and figure out what would be best for your family.

And then ask for it.  You never know unless you ask.  

Time is short.  Time is precious.  Figure out how you want to spend it.  And then do it.  

July 31, 2015

Freezer Meal Swapz

About a month ago Bennett and I went on a walk.  We go on a walk nearly every day (except for several of the hotter than hell days as of late).  The Benny LOVES being outside.  It's totally his jam.  When he was a wee screaming babe, being outside was one of the few things that calmed him down. So we would spend HOURS on our porch swing.  Hours.  And then my butt would fall asleep so I would have to choose between a numb bum and a screaming infant.  My rear still hasn't recovered.

I digress.

On this particular walk a few weeks ago, I was reminded that I would be heading back to work soon and that my freezer was currently empty.  I had a minor panic attack thinking, "How am I going to feed my boys when I come home from work exhausted every day?"  My mom and mother-in-law and step mother-in-law came to the rescue last year and filled my freezer to the brim, but this year I figure it should be my responsibility (still so thankful for the meals, mom, Carri, and Joy!).

After panicking for a bit, I pulled my head out of the sand and began brainstorming.  Walking is my think time and Lord knows I need it.  Benz is in his happy place waving at every squirrel that runs by and I'm in my happy place processing life.  It's the good stuff.

I won't give you too much of a glimpse into my brain because it would probably stress you out (ya'll, it's crazy in there), so I'll just cut to the chase (yeah right, like I ever do #amiright).

What I came up with was a freezer meal swap.  I threw the idea out there on the Faceboxes (mildly terrified that no one would think it was a good idea) and I was pleasantly surprised at the response.  So many women are busy and tired and trying to feed their families.  I am not alone.  YOU are not alone.  The response was so overwhelming (in a beautiful way) that I eventually had to cut it off at 20 (sorry to those who couldn't participate this round!).

It was one of those moments when I realized that this better work.  Or else literally dozens of people will be irritated and, worst of all, hungry and without go-to meals in their freezers.

The wheels started turning in my brain and what follows is how I organized it.  Readers, I'm posting this because I want you to do it.  I've fielded at least a dozen emails/messages from friends from all seasons of life and they all want to do this.  SO DO IT. :)  I can answer all your questions.  It's my favorite thing to do. If the size that we did it seems overwhelmingly large to you, then just do it with a few people.

Okay, ready for the nitty-gritty?  Let's go.

  • I made a Facebook event (it's the easiest thing.  My not young but not old mother can do it.  Love you, mom!).
  • I posted the guidelines (what you see here are the tweaked guidelines after I processed more). 
    • This is going to be so great, gals!  Please read the following guidelines and by RSVPing yes, you're committing to bringing meals that will be shared with others. :)  
    • Choose a recipe that you know is good.  Maybe a family favorite? Once you've decided, comment what you're planning to make...that way we won't end up with a dozen tator tot casseroles.  Believe me, almost everything can be turned into a freezer meal, so don't feel like you're stuck with meatballs and lasagna.  
    • Avoid really unique recipes - I'm sure Ethiopian food is delicious, but I'm not certain a freezer meal swap is the best place to introduce it. :)  If you're uncertain about your recipe, feel free to ask! 
    • As soon as I know how many gals are participating, I'll let you know how many batches to prepare. One batch needs to be enough to feed a family of 5 - so if you're only feeding 2 people, you'll technically walk away with double the meals!  
    • You must use brand-name freezer bags.  Obnoxious, I know.  But believe me, I've tried all the off-brands and they all leak.  So splurge a little for the sake of all the gals getting your food.  If your meal has a large amount of liquid, it would be good to double bag it.  
    • Freeze your meal prior to delivering it to Heidi's.  Please FREEZE IT FLAT - this is really important for storage reasons, of course.  
    • On the outside of your bag, label your meal as well as instructions for preparing.
    • You're only responsible for the main entree - no side dishes.  So if you put together crock-pot fajitas, you don't need to include cheese or tortillas or anything - just the meat/veggie/spice mixture. 
    • Bring a cooler or cooler bag to the swap to minimize thawing during transport. 
    • It would be extremely challenging to coordinate a dozen people's schedules, so here's what we'll do:   The exchange will begin Thursday, July 30 at 7:30 pm and if you're unable to come by at the actual swap, no worries!  But you must bring your meals prior to the exchange and then contact me to arrange another time for pick-up!
    • QUESTIONS?  Holler at me, gurls.
  • I invited the 20 women who expressed interest when I posed the initial question.  
  • Several women realized they wouldn't actually be able to participate, so the final number ended up being 15 which makes this type-A yahoo so happy because who doesn't love a number divisible by 5?!
  • Once the number was finalized, I posed a question to the group:  would you rather be split into two groups (one of 7 and one of 8) and end up with that many meals OR would you rather make 15 meals and end up with 15?  Several ladies opted for the smaller group, but after chatting with them individually they decided they could do 15 (thanks, gals, for being team players!).  I informed the gals that they needed to make 15 of their meal and bring 14 to the swap (keeping one for their family).  
  • Over the next few weeks women posted what they would bring and everyone got to work individually.  Some were so on the ball and made their meals immediately (love you, Rachel!) and others waited until the day before.  But it didn't matter when they made them which is one of the beauties of this method.
  • Women who wouldn't be able to attend the actual swap began dropping their food off a few days before the swap.
  • The night of the swap arrived and this is how I set up my space:



  • Only 9 women were able to be at the actual swap, so I assigned several a "buddy" who wouldn't be able to be there.  The women in attendance were responsible for collecting the 15 meals for their buddy but I would then store their meals until pick-up.  I assigned everyone a seat because #typeA.  Don't hate. I provided reusable grocery bags to "collect" the meals in but then the women transferred their meals into their own cooler once they had distributed their contribution. 
  • My SIL Tammy suggested that we do the swap "like a preschool Halloween candy exchange."  Preschool moms are the best.  I gave everyone a list of all the meals (see below).

Cook
Meal
Received
Maegan
Beef BBQ biscuits

Andrea
Loaded breakfast burritos

Marcy
Hawaiian BBQ chicken

Julie
Cilantro lime chicken

Tammy
Chicken taquitos

Melissa
Beef enchiladas

Ashley
Baked ziti

Stacy
Beef pasta veggie bake

Lyndsie
Chicken broccoli divan

Heidi
Stuff over fritos

Rachel
Chicken tortilla soup

Andrea
Chicken taco bowls

Tamela
Italian chicken

Grace
Taco soup

Angela
BBQ chicken enchiladas


  • Then I started with one of the meals that was dropped off.  I passed out one meal to each person.  Then another gal went to her ginormous cooler and passed out one meal to each person.  And it continued times 15.  We kept commenting how it was like Christmas.  But with food.  To feed our families.  From our freezer.  BEST. CHRISTMAS. PRESENT. EVER. #nooffensesanta
  • I provided gloves for anyone who had chilly hands (you laugh, but YOU try wrangling dozens of frozen meals without gloves...then we'll see who's laughing).  
  • These pics make it look like chaos, but, I'm telling ya, it was organized chaos!





  • There ya have it!

    There are many pros to doing freezer meals in this fashion, but here are just a few:
    • Making 15 of the same meal is so much easier than making 15 different meals (think buying in bulk, assembling individual meals assembly line style, etc.). 
    • Freezing flat really is the way to go - so much more storage space.
    • Who doesn't want an evening to spend with other ladies!?
    • It was a bit of a "worlds collide" night for me as women from work, church, and the community that I know all gathered.  I love times like that.
    • It took me 2 1/2 hours to make my 15 meals whereas when I've down freezer cooking in the past, I literally will spend ALL DAY and end up with 15 meals.  Having a kid has taught me many things including the fact that there is no such thing as efficiency anymore.  That being said, efficiency is the name of my game whenever I have the chance.

    By the numbers (because I'm like my dad and I like numbers):

    • 15 families walked away with 15 meals.
    • 225 meals were brought into my house
    • Each meal will feed at least a family of 5.  SO. That means 1,125 individual meals were distributed.  
    And just because I'm very introspective and very much a processor of all the things, here's my last food for thought.

    Late last year I had a vision of wanting to have 100 different people over for dinner throughout the year.  Well, life happens and I quickly realized it might not be possible.  Initially I was saddened by this thought but then I realized I could just pour more time and energy and resources into other things and not be so upset that I didn't even start to meet the goal I set.

    This morning on yet another walk (see above...walks are my "think time") I had a realization.  Though not as I had planned initially and certainly not entirely on my own, but WE fed 1,125 people indirectly from my home.  Life really is better when you do it with others.  Now get to cooking, ladies!  You will definitely not regret this!

    July 13, 2015

    Monday Night Dinner

    I brainstormed for a good 20 minutes about what this post should be titled.  I had all these fancy-shmancy titles that would make you either be really impressed with my use of the English language or make you want to vomit.  Ergo.  I threw in the towel and called it what it's really about:  Monday Night Dinner.

    Back-story.

    Five years ago I graduated from Tabor College, Daniel and I got married, and we moved to Topeka.  We intended to be here only two years as I fulfilled a scholarship requirement.  Well, three years after those two years were up, we're still here.  And we're not planning on moving anywhere else anytime soon.

    More back-story.

    When I started applying for jobs as a baby teacher, I was really only looking in the Kansas City and Wichita areas.  The year I was looking, it was so hard for teachers to find jobs because many districts were in hiring freezes.  Topeka was NOT where I wanted to be, but it was the only place that called me back in a timely manner.  When the offer was given to me in March of 2010, I quickly said yes and Daniel began looking for jobs in the area.  He found a job commuting to Lawrence we began the process of finding an apartment and moving our things to Topeka.

    Even more back-story.

    One of Daniel's sisters and her family lived in San Diego at this time.  We had been out to visit them several times and always had a jolly-good time with them.  They had lived in Topeka for several years before Brett's company transferred him to San Diego.  Desiring to return to Kansas to be closer to family, his company finally moved them back to Topeka.

    We all literally moved to Topeka within one week of each other.  I can't make this stuff up.

    Quick recap:
    I didn't want to live in Topeka.  We moved to Topeka in June of 2010.
    Brett and Tammy had wanted to move back for years.  They returned in June of 2010.

    So it's June 2010.  We all live in Topeka now.  Daniel and I don't have cable at our apartment but Brett and Tammy do.  It's Monday night.  The Bachelor is on.  I bet you see where this is going.  We decide that we should probably gather at B&T's apartment to watch.  Well, I use "we" loosely.  I can't remember what the guys did, but I'm pretty positive their desire to watch did not match ours.

    That's how it all began.  The Bachelor started at 7, so we decided it would only make sense to eat dinner together before the watching commenced.

    Fast forward five years, we have our Monday Night Dinners down to a science.

    We take turns hosting.  We gather around 6.  When it's your turn to host, you do everything.  Plan the meal, prepare the meal, host the meal, and clean up the meal.  Occasionally one of us has something extra to bring (Tammy is hosting this week's MND but I happen to have some dessert to contribute), but it's never expected.

    So all that's good and fun.  But my real point of this post is to encourage you to be intentional with those you love.  In the five years since we started the ritual of MND, we can count on one hand the number of times we've cancelled.  That's how precious it is to us.  Don't get me wrong, we don't do fancy.  We have eaten leftovers.  We've eaten freezer meals.  And we've ordered pizza.  The point isn't the food (even though we all LOVE us some food).  The point is the community.

    Sometimes we have lots to say and joke about needing a list of things to talk about to ensure that we don't miss anything.  Other times we don't have much to say.  Basically, we do life together.  Between the two families, there are four adults (duh) and 5 rambunctious little boys.  Sometimes the boys are the definition of hilarious.  Other times they've had a case of the Mondays.  But guys, it just doesn't matter.  We're spending time together.  And Daniel and I are learning oodles about what it means to be a parent.  You can't put a price on that.

    We eat a lot of Mexican.  It just works for our crew.  Most of the time I don't prepare a dessert.  But the boys know where I keep the marshmallows, so that's their treat.  And they're happy even when their treat, which should be soft as a pillow, is hard as a rock.  Memories, people.  We're creating memories.

    We laugh together.  A lot.  And we've shed our fair share of tears.  Brett and Tammy walked with us as we fumbled through our early twenties trying to figure out what life after college should look like.  We've walked with them as they've brought three baby boys home from the hospital (including one set of twins!).

    Only one of the five boys is old enough to know that we eat together on Mondays, but since this trend will continue as long as we're all in Topeka, I know all of our children will have the fondest of memories from many Monday nights spent in community. 

    Take-away:  if there's someone in your geographic area that, when you run into them, you're bound to say something like, "We live so close and we never see each other!" DO something about it.  Mondays are great.  No one likes Mondays, so we've found that having something to look forward to on a Monday makes them not so bad.  Fearful of what your pursuant might say?  Don't worry about it.  Live intentionally.  I promise you'll thank yourself weeks, months, and years from now.